10 Benefits of Homework

1. Homework is a good way to get rid of all those unwanted trees on the planet by turning them into paper that eventually gets torn up and burned.
2. Homework will make eating dirt seem like a fun activity. Eating dirt is apparently quite nutritional, or so I'm told. Why else would earthworms do it?
3. Homework teaches students that nobody cares about their free time and what they would rather do with it. This is a valuable lesson that will leave them cynical for the rest of their lives.
4. Homework teaches students that learning is all about memorizing things, answering questions, and writing loads of crap on topics you don't care about. This is intended to prevent them from accidentally learning anything useful in their free time (so that school can take all the credit for any learning that DOES occur), but it doesn't always work.
5. Homework gives students something useful to do with their free time, because as everyone knows, it's totally impossible to learn anything of value without the help and guidance of school.
6. Homework is a great way to invade students' free time and keep their minds focused on their misery for as long as possible. This will make them like their job one day because of better working hours and actually getting paid. Oh, and the benefit of being able to change jobs and/or quit.
7. Life is short, and homework takes up time that students will never, ever get back. This may result in them living the rest of their lives to the fullest to make up for wasted time.
8. Not doing homework will result in punishment - this teaches students the valuable lesson that victimless crimes are just as bad as crimes where someone actually gets hurt.
9. Homework will teach students the value of cheating and well done plagiarism, and the fine art of getting away with doing as little as humanly possible. This will prevent them from becoming a workaholic later in life.
10. Homework teaches students that there are a lot of totally useless things in life that drive certain people completely nuts if you refuse to do them. It's important that they get used to this fact early, because there are a lot of mentally unstable people out there in the world. Especially in schools.

THE DRINKER'S ALPHABET

A - Alcohol: The key to surviving college.
B - Beer: The most disgusting alcohol of all, but great for chugging.
C - Class: What you're supposed to get up and go to after a Thursday night party.
D - Dancing: A favorite pastime of almost every drunk, usually looks pathetic.
E - Emergency: The keg is empty or there is no one over 19 in your drinking party.
F - Fucked Up: Signified by leaning over a toilet puking your guts out.
G - Games: Anything that involves cards, dice, quarters, and chugging beers.
H - Hangover: Reminds you of how great last night was and how much you drank.
I - Idiot: The guy that spilled his beer on you and everyone else at the party.
J - Jail: Where you'll end up after trying to either use a fake ID or stagger home.
K - Kissing: What you'll do to anything that moves after 15 beers.
L - Lord: Person you beg to get you out of every situation involving alcohol.
M - Money: That which you no longer have due to too much partying.
N - Not Again!: What you scream when you wake up beside someone you don't know.
O - Officer: Person usually responsible for ending any party, tending to show up most often at
parties where no one is 19.
P - Pee: What you have to do every five minutes while you're drinking beer.
Q - Quilt: What you puked on last night in bed and have to clean in the morning (YUCK!)
R - Reform: What you promise God you will do while you're puking in the toilet
S - Sex: What you did with that person you met last night while you were drunk.
T - Ten: The number of beers it takes ME to get drunk.
U - Underage: Most of the drinking population at any given college.
V - Vodka: The mother of all alcohols and the best way to get drunk in an hour.
W - Worm: The part of tequila that reminds you of biology class tomorrow.
X - X-Ray: How they can see into your stomach before they pump it.
Y - Yourself: The one who drinks WAY TOO MUCH every weekend.
Z - Zoned: Your condition for the next 12 hours following drinking.

Useless Homework Excuses

These are some excuses that most probably won't be believed by the average teacher (or anyone, come to think of it) ;-)

I couldn't write yesterday afternoon, I don't understand it, my hand just refused to write. I don't know what got into it, it was like it had a mind of its own, it just wouldn't respond to what I told it to do.

I couldn't find my mind... I was sure I had it backed up on a disk somewhere, but I just couldn't find it yesterday.

I'm afraid I simply had better things to do.

My dog looked so lonely yesterday, I didn't have the heart to leave him all alone, so I decided to spend some time with him. I lost track of time, and by the time I finally got to my homework, I realised my dog had licked my hand so much that it had become paralyzed.

I had a very difficult choice to make: go to the beach with friends, or sit and do my homework. I chose to go to the beach, because my friends are more important to me than your homework will ever be.

I did do it all, but before I got a chance to save, my book crashed and I lost it all.

My pen ran out of ink, so I went to buy another pen, but I got lost on my way back and eventually got taken home by a tourist who luckily had a map with him. By that time it was late, and I tried my pen but I found it was a dud, and I couldn't go back again or I would never find my way home.

Teacher Insult Generator

Teacher Insult Generator Describe your most hated teacher.... [Kids, don't try this at school, OK?]  ;-) Amount of abuse they deserve: Slight Abuse Abuse Intense Abuse Gender: Male Female Unspecified Bad habits: Too much homework Unfair Bad memory Intelligence: Smart(or they think they are) Average Stupid Weight: Overweight Average Underweight Looks: Good-looking(or so they think) Average Bad-looking

60 FUNNY THINGS TO DO IN CLASS WHEN BORED

1. Bring some books to class and read them instead of paying attention or doing any work.
2. Walk around class begging for spare change.
3. Chew on your arm until someone notices.
4. Change seats every time the teacher turns his/her back.
5. After the teacher explains something, laugh really loud and say "Oh, now I get it!"
6. Lick yourself clean like a cat does.
7. After the teacher has explained something, say "Quite right, old bean" in the typical old english style.
8. Sing your questions to the class.
9. When the teacher calls roll, after each name scream "THAT'S MEEEEE!!! Oh, no, sorry."
10. Page through the textbook scratching each picture and sniffing it.
11. Stare continually at the teacher's private areas. Occasionally lick your lips.
12. Address the teacher as "your honour".
13. Sit in the front, sniff suspiciously, and ask the teacher if he's been drinking.
14. Present the teacher with a large fruit basket.
15. Ask for an extra copy of each handout, for your invisible friend sitting next to you.
16. Claim that you wrote the class textbook.
17. Stand to ask questions. Bow deeply before taking your seat after the teacher answers.
18. Laugh loudly at everything the teacher says. Be sure to snort and make weird noises while you laugh.
19. When the teacher turns their back to the class, scream and bang desks, then when they turn around act normal and get on with your work. 
20. Get everyone in the class to start humming softly, and gradually hum louder. 
21. Have a group of people in different parts of the classroom in on the hum scheme. To work it, one person hums until the teacher looks at them, whereupon someone else starts humming and the accused opens his mouth as says "I wasn't humming!". Rinse and repeat until teacher loses mind.
22. At a completely random time, put up your hand to ask a question. When the teacher picks you, ask a question about a different subject and pretend you thought it was that class.
23. Put your hand up, and when the teacher acknowledges you, just say "I'm pointing at the ceiling".
24. When a substitute introduces himself as a substitute, have you and your friends all yell "FRESH MEAT!!!!" at the same time.
25. Raise your hand as if to ask a question, then just say 'buh buh bah buh buh buh?' or similar nonsense. Then act like the teacher should get it.
26. Say you're invisible and when people say you're not, start crying.
27. Superglue a coin to the ground and watch people try to pick it up.
28. While the teacher is writing, hide the board rubber. When he/she goes to get somebody (like the principal), replace it in the same place & make him/her look insane.
29. Tell your teacher that you don't do homework because it's against your religion.
30. Listen to what the teacher says, and pick out a word that is said often, like "the". Each time the word is said, run a circle around your desk laughing and clapping loudly.
31. Each student say "chop!" when the teacher calls the roll, then when the last student's name is called the class yells "Timber!" and they all fall out of their desks onto the floor.
32. Whenever the teacher speaks to you, act like you're terrified of him/her and go run & hide in the corner or under your desk.
33. Go up to the teacher but face the empty space next to him/her and ask if you can go to the office to get your medicine for hallucinations.
34. As soon as the bell rings to start class, crawl under your desk and huddle with yourself and grab onto your chair and scream like you saw your grandma's butt. 
35. Start clapping, but keep a steady beat. When other people start clapping, start singing opera. 
36. Draw a smiley face on a piece of paper, and talk to it. 
37. Refuse to do any work until the whole class has put on rubber gloves for fear of lead poisioning. 
38. Bring some candles, an ouji board and matches into the class on the day of a test. Before the test starts, set the candles in a circle and light them. Sit in the middle of the circle with the ouji board and claim you are trying to channel the spirit of Einstein. 
39. In class when the teacher is talking, pretend you're not paying attention and if she picks you to anwser, say "So the Rhino did go to the beach with the Elephant".
40. When the class is silent, put your book on the desk and fart on it. 
41. Ask questions while trying not to use any nouns or make any sense. ex: I have a question: When you said that we should get that thing over there with the stuff on it, did you mean the thing that, you know, had the stuff with the (mumbles) . . . over there. . . .Well, do you? 
42. While taking a test, get up about halfway through and point at the teacher or someone random and scream "You ruined christmas" and then storm out of the room, slamming the door on your way out. 
43. Repeat everything the teacher says right after him/her to confirm that you agree. When they ask you to stop, say "but I love you so!!" 
44. Raise your hand in such a way that it looks a little bit like you're just stretching (like you're a little tired) but more like you want to ask a question. When the teacher goes to answer your question (even when you don't have a question), just say you were stretching. Repeat as often as necessary. 
45. When the teacher turns his/her attention to you and calls you to answer the question, act as if you're an undercover agent and refuse to give information. 
46. When forced to type up an essay or project, put the whole thing in one of those whacky fonts (the ones that are all symbols and the sort) then act confused when your teacher can't understand it. 
47. Every time your teacher asks a question, raise your hand and answer with the word "salmon". Have your friends join in and even have people in different class periods do it. 
48. When a teacher asks you a question, stand up and walk up to her/him (if the teacher is bigger than you, stand on tip toes) and square the teacher up. After 10 seconds, turn around and run out of the room.
49. When you have a 2000 word essay due, hand in two pictures related to the topic. After all, a picture is worth a thousand words, right? 
50. When a teacher asks you for your homework, angrily exclaim that you are a member of Greenpeace or the Earth Liberation Front, and that the mass slaughter of innocent trees is unacceptable. 
51. During a note-taking lesson or activity, or at any time during the class, try to take offense to anything the teacher says. If the teacher doesn't use politically correct terms, take offense to it, even though it doesn't even concern you. Even take offense to random things like "Jamaica" and "the pythagorean theorem". 
52. When the teacher leaves the room, tie a knot in the straw in their coffee. 
53. Raise your hand, and when the teacher calls on you, ask where babies come from in a childish voice. 
54. When a teacher explains something, raise your hand and say "I don't get it". They'll say, "What don't you get?" You look at the handout or notebook paper you have and say, "How do they make a really big tree into this thin piece of paper?" 
55. Pick one of your teachers that constantly uses a specific word (ex: I have a teacher that says "Okay?" after almost every sentence). Get everybody in the class to stand up, clap, and sit down every time that word is used. 
56. Just randomly stand up excitedly and yell some random-ass comment towards the teacher. Like, "I like your pants!" in a dandy, yet excited and confident manner. Then just sit down as if nothing ever happened.
57. Raise your hand and ask to go to the doctor and say, "I SEE DEAD PEOPLE." 
58. Look ahead in the textbook and learn the info. When your teacher is trying to teach it, raise your hand and give away the whole lesson in like 30 seconds. 
59. After being given an important assignment, blatantly stick it in your mouth and take a bite out of it. 
60. When the teacher hands out an assignment, put your shoes on your hands and attempt to do your work while whining about how hard it is. If the teacher tries to say anything, say, "You don't know me!" and run away crying. Works best with numerous people. 

THATS ALL FOR NOW ILL POST MORE THINGS LATER....

INTRODUCTION

This is a support site for students who can't stand being forced to go to school. We are not telling you to drop out,rebel or do anything in particular. What you do is your decision and yours alone, we can just provide support andinformation for whatever choice you may make. What works for one person won't necessarily work for everyone. The point is: the choice is yours to make. And if, for whatever reason, other people refuse to let you make that choice, you will always find someone here willing to listen to you.

It's okay to hate school:

There is nothing wrong with you.

If you hate school, parents and teachers may be quick to label you as 'troubled' or 'defiant' or diagnose you with a bunch of disorders. Nothing could be further from the truth.There is nothing wrong with hating school, there is nothing wrong with hating being forced to go someplace you don't want to and being "taught" things that don't interest you in ways that would kill you if boredom were lethal.
You're not worthless if you don't get good grades, and you're not mentally ill if the mere thought of school scares you.
In fact, you're probably perfectly sane.
They say school is for learning? Well, being bored is hardly any way to learn anything! No wonder hardly anyone remembers what they were forced to memorize at school. School isn't about learning, it's about training people to be obedient to those with authority over them.
Don't trust school to 'educate' you - only you can be trusted with that!

This psychologist has a message for kids who hate school:

I, as an adult and a psychologist, want to say to any children out there who hate school: you are not alone. Most people hate it too, but usually they don't feel entitled to say so, and many can't bear to think about it so they hardly even know how they feel. You are not mad – you don't have a Deep Psychological Problem (though you might develop one if you stay in school against your will!); and you are not bad for wanting to live your life the way you choose, doing what you think right – that is what everyone should be doing. You are not the problem: coercion is the problem. Being forced to go to school is the problem. (read the rest of this article)

But kids need an education!

If you think kids would not learn anything if it were not for school, you might not be aware that there are alternatives to school. You can even take classes online.Alternatives to school:
Homeschooling/Unschooling
Online Schooling
Dropping out / getting a GED
Charter schools
More...
And if your parents won't let you try any of the alternatives, you can stay in school to spread the word. If school is driving you insane, here's a guide on how to survive if you hate school. But whatever you do, don't break stuff or hurt anyone, because that will just feed the stereotype that kids need to be kept under control. This site's design is dark and gloomy for one reason only - 'cause it looks cool that way :P
If you have a website, please link to us! Here are some other ways you can help, too.
By the way, "anti-school" doesn't mean "anti-education".
Want to talk to some like-minded people who will understand your feelings about school? Come join the forums. :)